So lately I have been feeling a little bit anxious and maybe even slightly concerned about how far I have come since my re-diagnosis of Epilepsy in 2014.
Whilst laying in bed, not being able to sleep I thought I would do something to combat this. So I made myself write a letter to my future self telling me how far I have come since my illness and what I am going to achieve in the future.
I always set targets every New Year, I believe its an amazing way to focus all your energy and concentration on the year ahead and not get distracted by your disability. But I thought this letter would serve a greater purpose. I can look back on it and realise how far I have come when things seem a little bit tough.
Although this letter has come a little bit earlier this year but I feel it is something I should share in the hope it may inspire others to keep fighting regardless.
” Dear future self
Through no fault of your own you had developed Epilepsy as a child at the tender age of two alongside night terrors and this meant you were delayed in writing and education. You were told you would amount to nothing and that there was no hope for a future without Epilepsy ruining it.
But guess what? You defined all the odds by leaving school at 15 with 5 GCSES, going on to achieve 4 A-levels at college all with Distinctions, 2 degrees in law
and a postgraduate certificate in education.
You then battled being re-diagnosed with Epilepsy at 23 and went on to suffer from REM sleep disorder, night terrors, dystonia, nocturnal epilepsy, an ectopic heartbeat and IBS.
Despite this by the age of 24 you had already designed and maintained your own education business, at 25 you became a professional maths lecturer alongside a self employed law tutor and at 26 you had already presented at a teaching and learning conference for professionals. You had also already gained 100 hours teaching practice
and aced 8 formal teaching observations being pronounced as a grade 2 teacher with outstanding qualities and passing on with a 2:1 in professional education.
You have also already been successfully running your business for two years now and have went on to become a fully qualified legal professional.
You have already been a club runner of six years winning first female for the club on your very first half marathon . You have already won numerous awards including work for domestic violence, volunteering and charity work. You have managed to raise £500 for the Young Epilepsy Foundation, created your own charity run from the age of 23 and earned 5 karate belts in the space of 18 months.
You have already snorkelled with sharks, solo travelled around Kos and Rhodes, free fell 200ft over sea level in Blackpool, jumped off waterfalls in Spain, Snorkelled in the Spanish sea, dived off a boat in the Dodecanese ocean and will have Scuba Dived at a secluded bay in Rhodes. You have already travelled to Spain 3 times, Greece 3 times and travelled to Turkey by boat and you have even photographed a Spanish christening.
In your 26 years you have touched many peoples lives by becoming an Animal care worker, Mental health support worker, Auxiliary nurse, Teacher, Legal professional and Managing Director of your business.
So listen to this:
By 27 you need to have faith that you will have already completed that ten week course in Spanish that you have already enrolled on and you will have gained that house that you have always wanted to share with either a partner or a friend.
You will be in a full time career that you love whether it turns out to be re-training in something completely new an option which you have considered for a long time or carrying on as a teacher of law.
You will carry on fundraising for Young Epilepsy and making a difference in peoples lives and you will go on to eventually hit that £1,000 target you have been striving for.
You will live a full-filled life and you will carry on with your spirituality and be at peace with who you are, and what you have achieved in this lifetime. You will be off the medication that you feel an attachment to and you may even be learning to drive for the first time.
Please do not forget to look back on your journey. Each day is a gift. You are never promised tomorrow. It is not the cards you are dealt with it is how you choose to play them”
It was emotional writing this letter to myself but not as emotional as realising I have so much more to live for.
Don’t give up the hope.